My birthday.

There's no escaping it; it's my birthday. I am 28. I don't feel older. I really could care less how old I am. If other people didn't make a deal out of it I wouldn't even say a word about my birthday. I do appreciate the attention and I love my friends who go out of their way to give me 'gratz, but no more than I love talking to my friends any other day. Once again, I just fail to see the significance. My priorities are very skewed on this sort of thing. Kind of why I have exactly two photos in my house, one of my sister and the other of her dog in ski goggles. Nostalgia and I don't precicely get along.

Anyway, thanks for all the happy birthday wishes. You're all lovely people whose birthdays I intend not to forget since my Palm remembers everything for me. I have to run to eat as much sushi as I can stuff in my face for dinner. Then I get yellow cake with chocolate icing. It's a gonna be a good night. Even if I do find people trying to hide behind my midget pine trees with the intention of giving me a tackle and wet willie attack.

Best quotes I've seen in a long time

Don't worry about avoiding temptation... as you grow older, it will avoid you.
-- Winston Churchill

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
-- Jimmy Durante

Money can't buy you happiness .. but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
-- Spike Milligan

Metal

Probably due to my recent discovery of the awesome that is Metalocolypse, I have found myself looking once again to heavier music to get me through the day. Music, for me, tends to be somewhat cyclical in nature. For a while I'll want to listen to classical, that will be replaced by blues, then techno, then punk or ska, and then random assorted music before turning to hardcore music again. I do love the eclectic nature of my musical tastes, but sometimes it's really hard to get from one style of music to another since I'm as picky about music as I am about anything else.

Enter Black Metal Radio. I've been listening to bands like "Forever Mourne" and "Golgoroth" all morning, and it's really clicking for some reason. I wouldn't normally listen to these bands, as I do insist on a certain level of singing talent in the bands I listen to normally, but right now these gravelly, screaming voices are just what I'm in the mood for. I'm fairly certain most of the people I know really don't like this kind of metal quite as much as me (excepting, of course, the Mother Fucking Man), but that's never stopped me from listening to whatever before, so it's hardly going to stop me now.

Black metal is kind of amusing in a predictable way. There are some standards I've come to expect from this music: screaming, fast guitars, and such are the obvious ones, but the more entertaining ones like the occasional inclusion of symphonic orchestral music and weird "scary" background noises are just fun. I realize I'm probably supposed to take this seriously and scream "RAAA!" every time I hear these silly things in the background, but it's honestly too funny for that. I'm sure that wasn't the intent, but I'm a weird guy.

Anyway, I should stop slacking and actually work more. The only news about my job and raise is that both my partner in crime and I are considering just not coming to work for a while until our superiors get their damn acts together and pay us our fucking money. Strike or something. Whatever, more on that later.

Wow

I've heard some very strong condmenation of the religious hatred towards homosexuals, but this is the best and most convincing one I've ever personally read:

http://atheistethicist.blogspot.com/2007/01/source-of-hatred.html

Wii-hoo!

I now posses a Wii. I've actually had it for several days now. I started a post the day I bought it to mention something, but blogger was kind enough to eat that post and then deny that it ever existed, so I've been busy playing. Hell, I didn't turn on my computer at home for more than about five minutes this weekend, so that's a sign of how sucked in I've been. Wiis are just about exactly as fun as everyone says they are. Let's start with the games that came prepackaged with Wii: Wii Sports, Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz, and The Legend of Zelda: the Twilight Princess.

Wii Sports includes bowling, boxing, baseball, golf, and tennis. Of these, bowling is the clear champion. Yes, just like you've heard, you use the Wiimote as you would a bowling ball, just minus the letting the fucker go at the end of your swing part. How you twist your hand affects the spin on the ball. Much like in real life, I cannot through a damn ball in a straight line to save my life. Regardless, it's fun as hell. My sister's fiance came by and we played for some time before we were joined by a pair of ladies who also played. Everyone seems to agree: bowling rules. This is not to say that the other games aren't entertaining as well, except maybe tennis which is so far too hard to want to play with, but I haven't given it a good go yet, so I'll have to get back to you on that one, but all the other games are just amusing and could easily take hours of my time away.

Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz is a very, VERY Japanese game. Über cute, insanely catchy fast Japanapop music, lots of lights, noises, colors, and very fast gameplay. You barely get a seconds notice before your monkey in a hamster ball is busy racing his little heart out trying to get bananas. There's a vauge attempt at a plot, but who cares? This little monkey in a ball concept is very amusing all by itself. Not to mention the game is devilishly harder than it looks. While it has not been a point of obsession, given my other game interests, I'm sure I'll get sucked into it eventually. If nothing else it's fun to give to newbies and watch them start cursing like sailors.

The Legend of Zelda: The Twilight Princess. This game is just like every Zelda game before it in it's basic design. Boomerangs, bows, and bombs have returned, and I'm not far enough into the game to really know if all the old favorites are back, but that's not what's good about this game. In this game you are Link who is at least, t'were I to guess, 16, so not some little tiny kid who is saving the world, but someone older and far more likely to actually survive in this deadly world. The tone of the game, while maintaining something of a child's view, is much more serious and has a palpable air of a darker circumstances going on. Though the game plays like other Zelda games, this grown up Link lends an air of seriousness long needed in these games.

And that has kept me very busy, especially when you add in FFXII, which I have also spent much time playing. The advantage here is that since I am now working on a HUGE project that takes 5+ minutes to save, rebuild, compile, and whathave you, this leave just enough time to get writing like here done. And then some. More reports on games later. I just need to convince people to come bowling. And get another Wiimote so that we don't have to swap the controller around so much.

This might be a bad idea...

I've certainly never been one to back down from the plate just because a gorilla was pitching. After a chat with my psychiatrist we decided it was high time to start stepping back my current addiction to prescription drugs and start lowering doses. Not of the stuff that definitely works, but the Wellbutrin, something that may be helpful and may be totally overpowered by the other drugs. I was taking 300mg extended release tablets one a day, and that was theoretically helpful, but now with the new drugs its worth testing to see if the Wellbutrin is actually doing anything anymore.

I'm down to 150mg extended release starting today, so we'll see what wacky twists and turns my psyche takes. Personally, I don't expect much of anything to change. The difference of me on Wellbutrin and me off Wellbutrin, based on my experiences in the past, isn't much different though it was significant. I am grouchy and surly, moreso than normal, but the question is if that will hold true while I'm on these other drugs. I'm thinking, comparatively speaking, Wellbutrin is like the .22 surrounded by .50s. It was good for shooting birds and squirrels, but now we're hunting bigger game. That's really how a lot of my recent life altering experiences have felt like, that being my previous efforts to help myself were the little efforts, like hunting deer with a sling shot; now I'm more appropriately armed, attacking from two fronts, and even on my days of weakness I still feel stronger than I ever did before. Eventually I will win. It's only a matter of time.

For now, we'll just see how my new daily concoction treats me. If I'm suddenly grumpier or surlier, do let me know that I'm off my rocker. I'll readjust teh medxor.

Simpson: anime style

For anyone who ever wondered what the Simpsons would look like anime style, Deviant Art has an interesting little image for you: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/46036660/

Hey anti-gun people! Suck it!

http://www.nraila.org/Legislation/Read.aspx?ID=2445

Quick summary: "The FBI’s report once again confirmed that violent crime rates are lower in states with Right-to-Carry (RTC) laws. In 2005, RTC states had, on average, 22% lower total violent crime, 30% less murder, 46% lower robbery, and 12% lower aggravated assault rates, compared to the rest of the country."

That means where citizens are better armed, there's less crime. So if Philly wants to have less people dying then it looks like less gun control is the answer. And what's Philly doing? Trying to pass a "one gun a month" law. Way to ignore facts and follow the fear driven insanity of a few who are more interested in having guns abolished than actually protecting anyone.

I'm worried the nexus is moving

There is a nexus of evil that surrounds the Frenchman that manifests itself in the form of some of the most terrifyingly bad drivers known to man constantly swirling around him. Unfortunately, as we spend time in the car together, I think he is inadvertantly shifting the nexus over to me, or sharing it, or something to that effect. I say this because lately, my driving has become more... difficult than normal.

Last night, for instance, I kept saying to myself "this just isn't my night" as everything that could go wrong started going wrong around me. Not just limited to other drivers, which is one of the things that worries me. I never had enough time to find that CD I wanted, I never got through that yellow light, I never managed to escape the slow drivers or pass them as they would magically begin driving like capable drivers as soon as I tried to get around them. Speeding was like cutting through hard butter with a cold knife: possible, but not easy.

Has the nexus found a new victim? I'm scared. Either that or the quality of driving has dropped even more dramatically than normal in the past few weeks. I admit, this idea is just as scary. Perhaps I'll make a sacrifice to the traffic gods soon. That may appease them and perhaps this nexus will find somewhere else to go...

So it's like a new year or something...

Welcome to 2007, a new and shiny year. Not really. Hell, if you ask me, the only difference between now and a couple days ago is that I was drinking a couple days ago and now I'm not. I know everyone else has some kind of thing about years rolling over or whatever, but (other than remembering to write the correct year number on my stupid checks) I really don't give a shit. There is no difference. This day is no different than four days ago. Every day is the same to me, the only difference is what emphasis other people put on their days.

I am essentially immune to nostalgia, but my problem is more pervasive than that. I just don't care about any day more than another. The only holidays I give a crap about are the ones that get me out of work and I don't even know which ones they are. All I know is I'm off and that's cool. You can see how this might be a problem for things like aniversaries, birthdays, etc, as no date holds much significance for me. Thankfully, I have a Palm to remember things like that for me. Otherwise there's no way in hell I would remember birthdays, days off, appointments, etc.

I really don't know why I'm so apathetic about what day it is. I actually don't know if it's apathy either. Perhaps my belief that I should take every day as the same just overpowers any hope of nostalgia. Or possibly because of some trauma I just don't want to remember bad days so I don't remember any days at all. I say that not because I believe it to be true, but it was a thought that popped into my head that sounded plausible, so I figured throw it out there, what the hey?

I think my inability to remember dates or to enjoy dates is just because I don't see what the big deal is. Why do I need to have a special day to go get drunk? Why do I need a special day to give people I care about stuff? I don't. Maybe the rest of you people do, but I don't. If I see something that makes me think "that would be perfect for x" then I get the thing and x gets it shortly thereafter. If I want to get nicely drunk, for whatever reason, I will. Probably on a Friday or Saturday, what with being a responsible worker, but hey! Sometimes you need to get drunk on Wednesday. Whatever.

As for birthdays, someone smart once said "you're only as old as you feel." They are, of course, wrong, as you are exactly as old as you are. However, if you are 28 (like I will be shortly) and don't give two shits that you're 28 and keep acting younger when you feel like it and older when appropriate, then I think you're doing something right. I certainly feel like I'm doing something right. Sure I'm a bit lonely sans female companionship and my whole no raise scenario fills me with rage... Otherwise, life is good. I like where I am, physically, mentally, and socially, and I'm trying to grow in all three without feeling any desperate need to suddenly be better at it. What else would anyone want? Ok, a girlfriend and more money, but some things just aren't going to change that quick.