So it's like a new year or something...

Welcome to 2007, a new and shiny year. Not really. Hell, if you ask me, the only difference between now and a couple days ago is that I was drinking a couple days ago and now I'm not. I know everyone else has some kind of thing about years rolling over or whatever, but (other than remembering to write the correct year number on my stupid checks) I really don't give a shit. There is no difference. This day is no different than four days ago. Every day is the same to me, the only difference is what emphasis other people put on their days.

I am essentially immune to nostalgia, but my problem is more pervasive than that. I just don't care about any day more than another. The only holidays I give a crap about are the ones that get me out of work and I don't even know which ones they are. All I know is I'm off and that's cool. You can see how this might be a problem for things like aniversaries, birthdays, etc, as no date holds much significance for me. Thankfully, I have a Palm to remember things like that for me. Otherwise there's no way in hell I would remember birthdays, days off, appointments, etc.

I really don't know why I'm so apathetic about what day it is. I actually don't know if it's apathy either. Perhaps my belief that I should take every day as the same just overpowers any hope of nostalgia. Or possibly because of some trauma I just don't want to remember bad days so I don't remember any days at all. I say that not because I believe it to be true, but it was a thought that popped into my head that sounded plausible, so I figured throw it out there, what the hey?

I think my inability to remember dates or to enjoy dates is just because I don't see what the big deal is. Why do I need to have a special day to go get drunk? Why do I need a special day to give people I care about stuff? I don't. Maybe the rest of you people do, but I don't. If I see something that makes me think "that would be perfect for x" then I get the thing and x gets it shortly thereafter. If I want to get nicely drunk, for whatever reason, I will. Probably on a Friday or Saturday, what with being a responsible worker, but hey! Sometimes you need to get drunk on Wednesday. Whatever.

As for birthdays, someone smart once said "you're only as old as you feel." They are, of course, wrong, as you are exactly as old as you are. However, if you are 28 (like I will be shortly) and don't give two shits that you're 28 and keep acting younger when you feel like it and older when appropriate, then I think you're doing something right. I certainly feel like I'm doing something right. Sure I'm a bit lonely sans female companionship and my whole no raise scenario fills me with rage... Otherwise, life is good. I like where I am, physically, mentally, and socially, and I'm trying to grow in all three without feeling any desperate need to suddenly be better at it. What else would anyone want? Ok, a girlfriend and more money, but some things just aren't going to change that quick.