My Internet presence is going away

Soon, as in April 30th, my company is going to shut off my ability to use any form of third party emailing. That means Gmail, Yahoo, whatever, gone. Going to work will be like being in a black hole where the only way I can talk to anyone is via txt message or by using my phone for email and IM. This is all being done in the name of "security", though what precisely we're being secured against I am not sure. The argument made by our corporate overlords is that third party mail systems invite viruses, trojans, worms, and whatnot into our workplace. This is nonsense.

Yes, if people are stupid enough to open unsafe attachments at work via third party mail systems, we will get hit by viruses. However, as our work provided email addresses will still work, most of those stupid people will probably FORWARD THEIR UNSAFE EMAIL TO THEIR GODDAMN WORK MAIL ACCOUNTS. Then, rather than having the added safety of third party email systems, which more often than not have impressive spam, virus, and worm detection and protection systems, they'll be opening those emails directly via Microsoft Office, THE MOST VULNERABLE MAIL SYSTEM KNOWN TO MODERN MAN.

This borders on the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of come from corporate, but there are so many painfully stupid decisions made by the retards upstairs, it's really hard to say this is the most ridiculous. Suffice it to say, it'll be a little more unlikely for me to respond to your emails during normal work hours after April, and I'm goddamn pissed about it.