meetings

Today I had a nearly 2 hour meeting that I needed to be in about five minutes of. It was the kind of meeting that, had it actually meant anything to me, I might have somehow vaguely not wanted to kill myself, but since it meant less than nothing to me, I really seriously was considering how many papercuts it would take to reach my jugular or carotid so I could fucking die instead of sit in the meeting anymore. The real turning point was when I realized that my boss has just walked out of the meeting at some point and then I just wanted to kill other people too.

I've had kind of a frustrating week in many ways, so my urge to kill isn't exactly hard to get off the ground right now anyway. EVENTUALLY, though, I will actually finish my stupid short story and start getting people to read it and tell me how horrible I am at writing short stories. Then I'll probably start feeling better. Why? I have no idea. That's just kind of how I work.